HE POOPED IN THE POTTY October 22, 2008

Now I know you guys are probably tired of me talking about my son’s potty training but I have to share this.  Elijah for the past few months has been pooping in the potty only when we direct him to.  Today for some reason I totally forgot to prompt him to go to the potty.  I was in the kitchen cooking dinner then all of a sudden I see my son walking by.  I kept my eye on him thinking “what is he up to now.”  So I kind of followed him keeping my distance.  He went to the bathroom and closed the door.  I was immediately nervous.  People with autistic children can understand my anxiety because they tend to find creative things to do in the bathroom such as smearing poop, putting their head in the toilet, flushing object down the toilet (I’m still feeling the bill from the carpet cleaning guys when my son flushed his pull up down the toilet and flooded my downstairs).  Okay so you can understand me when I say I was NERVOUS but I wanted to see what he would do.  So I cracked open the door and to my wonderful surprise my son stripped down to his birthday suit and was grunting on the toilet.  The sound was like music to my ears…Could it be?  Could he have gone to the bathroom without prompting?  HE DID!  Thank you JESUS!  I continue to watch him like a peeping tom as he wiped his bottom and flush and proceeded to wash his hand….He even used hand soap.  I’m the proudest momma in the world. 

Many people are wondering what is the big deal.  Well here is the big deal: My son will be five in December.  Many children with autism don’t get the concept of potty training until they are 8 some even older than that.  I am grateful that my son is getting it.  It shows me that he is learning and understanding.  As a matter of fact he just said, “Chair please.” Because he wants to use the computer.  Now I really need to get off:)  All I can say is thank you God.  Alright gotta go please excuse any grammatical errors my son has to use the computer:)

Tree

First Day of School September 4, 2008

                                    

That’s my big boy!  He looks like his momma right:)

 

My son looked like a big boy in his beige khaki pants and sky blue polo shirt and beige backpack.  I was so proud today because by baby looks more and more like a big boy.  Within a few months he learned to poop in the potty (a big accomplishment) and saying the word “no” if he doesn’t like something.  My husband and I gathered the girls and took our son to school to meet his teacher and to take pictures of his first day.  We weren’t trying to stay to have parent conferences and a back to school night on the first day (not that I didn’t want to) but from a  teacher’s perspective its extremely difficult to deal with crying kids (and parents) while answering hundreds of questions.

What we had plan to do (before we found out that my son will not be going to the autistic kindergarten class because he missed the cut off date and will be returning to his preschool class he had last year) was simply introduce ourselves because I wrote the teacher a letter to introduce my son to her.  This was an effort to help the teacher out.  Since autistic children can be hard to figure out because they are nonverbal or less verbal than most children and introduction letter is the way to go.  I encourage all parents of autistic children to write a letter to your child’s teacher to help them get an idea of your child’s strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes since they are not YET able to express themselves like typical children.  Here is the  letter I wrote to my son’s teacher but will now go in the garbage since he will be in the same classroom.

 

September 4, 2008

Dear Ms. __________,

Hello, my name is ____________ and my husband is _________.  We are proud parents of Elijah _________.  We are writing this letter to introduce our son to you. Elijah has been diagnosed with a mild form of autism better known as PDD-NOS.   It is impossible for us to define in detail everything about Elijah and his behaviors but we would like to give you all the support that we can. We strongly believe that working together as a team with teachers and the district and having open and frequent communication is the key to helping Elijah excel both academically and socially.

We would like to inform you that this summer we have changed his diet to a gluten free diet and have seen many changes in his behavior. He began peeing and pooping in the potty on command when prior to this summer he wouldn’t get on the potty at all. We send him to the potty often as he doesn’t go without verbal commands and if he is engrossed in an activity we usually have to tell him a few times and guide him.

Elijah loves to learn. At this present time he knows his alphabet, letter sounds, reads over (approximately) 100 words, days of week, months of the year, numbers up to 80, shapes, and he writes well. His weaknesses are interacting with other children (he tends to do better with adults), being considerate, some self help skills (brushing teeth, washing hand, etc), using his words. Elijah can identify objects and people but only choses to use his words when forced to. Elijah is a visual learner and requires pictures and modeling in order to understand what is asked of him and to do a task. He can follow many one step commands but has trouble with multiple commands. Elijah has to be challenged academically and socially or he will be bored and a bored Elijah gets into a lot of trouble.

If Elijah has a meltdown the best thing to do is to leave him alone. Trying to console him doesn’t help. We usually wrap him up in a blanket and remove him from the area to a quiet section and leave him to himself. Once he is calm he will return back to the group.

Some of the things Elijah likes is food (now that he is on this special diet I will send to school some items that you can use for rewards such as popcorn, fruit, chips), computer, alphabet, writing with chalk, counting, and hugs. He is strong and tough physically but he is also extremely sensitive and will cry if he or others are yelled at or treated harshly. He responds best to a more positive reprimand or reinforcement.

Hopefully this will help you better understand our son. We are joining the PTA to be a voice for the autistic population at ______ Elementary.  We are always willing to make ourselves available to volunteer for events so please let us know if what we can do to help. 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gluten Free Diet is Driving Me Nuts August 15, 2008

I put my son on a gluten free diet to help with his autism symptoms (the behaviors associated with autism).  Grant it, it has been working BUT gluten free products are so expensive and not really that tasty.  Its been quite difficult planning meals and making sure he is getting the same meals we have to make sure he’s not feeling left out.  Now I have started him on a casein diet (dairy free)along with the gluten free (GFCF diet-gluten free casein free diet) which has been recommended by various DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctors. 

Now since I am event planner extraordinaire, I’m always thinking about birthday parties, anniversaries, etc.  I just realized the other day that he can’t eat birthday cake because of the gluten content in flour and he can’t have ice cream cake because of the casein content in dairy.  So now I’m on line trying to find a bakery that makes pretty good cakes, rolls, bread, etc so that my son can have a birthday cake like a typical child.

We tried gluten free bagels.  Not only were they ugly and look unappetizing they were literally hard like a potato.  My son LOVES bagels so when he saw it’s gluten free substitute he played with it for a little while and finally took a bite and literally spit it out of his mouth.  I truly sympathized with him since my son loves bread, bagels, waffles, etc.

On the bright side, he likes the soy ice cream and the gluten free cones, and the gluten free ginger snap cookies but everything else like the bread, waffles, and bagels he seems repulsed by.

So I will begin my journey to finding the tastiest gluten free casein free foods for my son.  If anyone has suggestions please let me know.  Thanks.

Poo poo in the potty August 9, 2008

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.  Those are the words that I am singing in my head. My son finally pooped in the potty.  My son was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum about two years ago.  Parents of children with autism know that it can take years or a decade to potty train them. 

Other then his aggressive behavior (that BTW is becoming less often due to the gluten free diet we put him on) potty training was one of the hardest things to do with him.  He literally fought tooth and nail not to sit on the potty.  Now with him being calmer and more focus we put him on the potty and made up this potty song and he actually did it. He pooped.  We thought it was probably something that he would probably do once but for the last four days he’s been pooping in the potty.  He doesn’t yet go on his own without prompting but if we tell him to go he runs to the bathroom and makes himself poop.  No more changing big boy poop! Thank you Jesus!

God is good! My son is pooping in the potty before he turned 5. I know some families who have children who are 8 & 11 and still in diapers.  My son is on his way and getting better everyday. Keep him in your prayers. That’s my testimony! And I’m sticking to it!

Tree

Gluten Free Diet July 30, 2008

Does anyone have a list of gluten free commercial food items?   I desperately need suggestions, advice, etc on the gluten free diet.  You see I started my son on this diet about a week ago (based on the limited knowledge that I have) and I have seen such a tremendous change in his behavior.  (Oh yeah, for those of you who don’t know my son was diagnosed PDD-NOS.)   

I want to keep this diet going and be as strict as possible with it because of the wonderful change that is occuring in my son.  Again if you have any information, suggestions, ideas, recipes, etc to help me I will GREATLY appreciate it.  Also are there any gluten free ice cream cones my son loves ice cream on cones.

Thanks again,

Tree

My kids…What can I say…I just love them July 8, 2008

The last two weeks my kids have literally been getting themselves in so much trouble.  I want to blame it on autism, or the terrible twos, or baby just being curious…but to simply put it, I AM OUTNUMBERED:).  While one is doing something the other is contemplating what to do while mommy is occupied dealing with the other sibling.

Let me begin-

Remember last week I wrote the post about my Sam’s Club ordeal.  Yeah, that one…I can’t even think about that day without frowning.  Okay, so I went to the grocery store the next morning that way hubby could watch the kids so that I wouldn’t have to deal with another meltdown. When I came home hubby and I were putting groceries away and I usually keep a permanent marker close to write on the zip-lock bags (because I separate meat).  You can see where this story is going right.  So I’m looking for the marker that I KNOW I had on the kitchen counter and as I’m searching for it my sweet, sensitive, ladylike 2year old came prancing in the kitchen with the permanent marker all over her lips.  She says, “Look mommy I have lipstick like you.”  Startled by my reaction (a quick aaaaaaaahhhhh) she began to cry.  I explained to her that it wasn’t lipstick or chap stick (which is what she usually wears) and while explaining all this to her something on the inside told me to check the family room.  I slowly crept into my family room scared to see what I might find and I glance over to my couch and saw some nice scribbled marks on the seat of my couch.  I was upset but I thank God that I could simply turn the couch seat over and “wallah” no more permanent markers.  Below is my daughter next to her master piece.  My parents wanted to see what she did so I took a picture with my cell phone and as always my daughter never fails to give a smile for the camera even though mommy was fuming on the other end.

                                               

Next Story:

The broken lamp

My son has a tendency to get what he wants from the refrigerator or cabinets since he is not very verbal yet he can’t express what he wants.  My sweet little boy is very very very very busy.  He really likes to move.  I try to be in the same room he is in as much as I can but at times I am often pulled in so many directions because my kids are young and they all need their momma.  This particular day I was upstairs putting baby in her play pen so that she can rest and all of a sudden I hear glass shattering.  I let out a scream ( Me just being my dramatic self:) ) and ran down the stairs so quick I almost felt like I flew to the kitchen.  Evidently my son took it upon himself to climb on the counter top to get a snack on top of the refrigerator.  I’m assuming he took the dangling light and swung it and it naturally broke into smithereens.  So this is what it looks like now until I go to Home Depot to purchase another one.

                                                

I love my kids.  They certainly keep me on my feet and make life very exciting.  What great blessings:)

I have many other stories to tell but I think this post is long enough!  Hey, do you want to share some of your stories feel free to leave comments or write a post about your kids and send the link.  Sounds like it will be a lot of fun.  Tomorrow I’m going to try to give you a tour of my home.  Okay, I’m signing off now.  Take care.

Tree

Too Blessed To Be Stressed July 1, 2008

I’m sitting here at the computer almost in tears because it was just that kind of day.  My son is not yet potty trained but is at the stage that he now doesn’t like the feel of poop on his skin.  For the last 3 days he’s been having diarrhea and has been taking his diaper off consistently leaving something for me to clean and sanitize.  He was up to his old tricks again but this time took the pillow off the couch to wipe his bottom.  Now I’m a little frazzled now because I need to clean my house (once again) and while all of this is going on baby is crying to a point that she threw up and my 2 year old daughter is just yelling and being very repetitive with her statements.  I’m trying to gather the pillows so that I can throw them in the washer while holding baby and helping 2 year old.  Now after I gave my son a bath got the two girls situated I started to get a migraine.

I wonder sometimes how life would be to have a typical child without any disabilities.  I see people complaining about their kids and I can almost laugh at them because their kids are so easy.  If they had to deal with constant (daily almost hourly) meltdowns and poop while still trying to maintain a clean home and raise well rounded children in the mist of chaos they wouldn’t complain so much.  I see children my son’s age (4 1/2) sit down and enjoy a television show or mingle with other kids and wonder wow that kid looks easy because my son doesn’t sit he is constantly wondering and getting into things and he doesn’t like to interact with other kids.  But in the midst of my pity party for myself and stress I still thank God.

My husband told me last night that there is a girl that use to work for him who is our age (31) and the doctors told her that she has cancer and gave her a certain amount of time to live.  Now this girl has 3 kids like me.  That was a reality check for me.  I am too blessed to let things like poop and throw up stress me out.  So as I’m writing this blog I am trying to get myself out of this funk.  I thank God for my kids and family.  And I am so fortunate to have a loving God that tells me to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me.  How wonderful?  Now I will meditate on His Word.

My Sam’s Club Nightmare June 24, 2008

Yesterday was extremely stressful…

My husband wanted me to have the kids ready to leave so that we can shoot to Sam’s Club immediately after pulls up (to avoid the store closing on us).No Problem…So I thought:(  When it was time to leave my son had a little meltdown, nothing too severe, we could handle it…So I thought again.   My husband and I took both cars to ensure that we had enough space for groceries and car seats.  All the kids wanted to ride with daddy even baby girl so I packed them all in daddy’s car and went into mine to follow behind. 

We arrived at Sam’s Club and my husband told me that my son had been crying and jumping up and down the whole ride (he knows how to get out of the car seat…all of them).  My son’s cry is not the typical kid’s cry it is extremely high pitch and annoying it sounds as if someone is beating him with a steel bar or something( I think it comes from him being non verbal and not utilizing his voice).  So my husband was frazzled because he just came home from work and had to deal with his meltdown for thirty minutes nonstop. 

My husband and I were extremely skeptical about going shopping with my son in this state(knowing that a meltdown can literally last for HOURS, once it lasted for about 7 hours) and having to deal with the other two young-ins but we came this far so thought we would give it a try.  WHY, oh why did we do that!  My son was so inconsolable, frantic, and anxious that in the middle of our attempt to go food shopping we just stopped and left extremely frustrated and to be quite honest EMBARRASSED.  So many shoppers were just staring at us.  Now I usually don’t mind people talking about me but I have a weak side when it comes to how people view me as a parent when they don’t have a clue about my struggles.  They were just watching us as if we stole this child from someone or like we have been abusing him.  I honestly felt like screaming that he was autistic just so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the judgemental stares.  To put the icing on the cake after we left the store it was difficult to get him to go back in the car (the kid is like the Incredible Hulk) and once in the car he kept trying to escape.   I know what some of you are thinking, ” A good spanking would fix that right or maybe time out,.”  Rest assure it doesn’t work.  He can’t even comprehend some of the things we are telling him and the meltdowns make it worse.  Well we finally got him in the car and I followed them.  After a short while I see the back door opening to my husband’s car on a major highway (my son was opening the door).  I was frantic!  I beeped the horn like a crazy woman and yelled out of the window telling him to pull over.  He pulled the car over quickly and was so upset over what could have happened that he calmly told me to take our son and put him in my car out of fear of what he might do or say out of anger and frustration.  So I obliged and quietly put our son in my car and strapped him up tightly and went home. 

I want all those who read this blog to be careful of how you judge people when their kids are having so called “tantrums” because you never know the true situation of that child or parent.  I use to be like that sitting on my high horse saying if that were my child I would do this and that.  Well I take that back now because looking at my son you would never know his diagnosis because he doesn’t have physical features of a child with special needs.  You would probably think he was a spoiled child as someone has told me before.  Well he’s not and unless you walk a mile in my shoe (I take that back…a few feet) you will NEVER know how difficult it really is to have a child with special needs. 

Through all that and more I thank God for him and I truly love him with my whole heart.   I also thank God for my wonderful husband, a man that is noble and willing to stick with it through hard times.

Trivia Question

Question: What is the rate of divorce amongst parents of children with autism?

Answer: 80% end in divorce

It is a tiresome battle but we (my hubby and I will endure)!

God Bless

Tree

Catching Up June 16, 2008

Sorry I didn’t write a post the last couple of days but I’ve been real busy.  Ok let me catch you up on everything.

Saturday-Autism Walk -Great event, everyone had fun and my church family really came through for me as far as attendance and donations.  Wanted to blog but was so tired from the walk and literally getting 4 hours of sleep that I took a Benadryl (Oh yeah allergies flared up) and was pretty much knocked out.

Sunday- Father’s Day- Still tired from yesterday but wanted to give hubby a break.  So I really took “Charge” of the kids yesterday.  Found a babysitter at the last minute to watch the kids so I can take hubby out to dinner at his favorite restaurant, Macaroni Grill.  At the restaurant my chicken tasted funny so the kind waitress gave me a new entree but it was a little cold (I guess they didn’t heat it up thoroughly in their attempt to get my food to me quickly) so I ended up getting my chicken entree to go (because it was still deliciouso) and the waiter brought me a huge chocolate cake on the house.  I only took three small forks of the cake when I came home so that I won’t deprive myself of the goodie but kept in mind my weight loss goal. 

Today-Cleaned house, spend time with girls, oh yeah I walked on the track today, jogging 2 out of the 6 laps so my dreams of jogging is becoming a reality.  It was great.  I emailed a few friends to see if they are interested in starting an organic food co-op and now I’m blogging and I’m about to give you my menu ideas for this week.  I am making roasted chicken today because I was suppose to make it yesterday but opt to take hubby out.  So below is a quick list of my menu for this week.  Please excuse any grammatical errors because I am typing quickly before I have to get my son off the bus (half day at school).

Monday- Roasted Chicken Potatoes, Veggies

Tuesday-Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread

Wednesday-Bar-B-Q Chicken Spanish rice, veggie

Thursday- Homemade cheeseburgers, homemade fried

Friday-Grilled Chicken, Pasta Salad

Saturday- Leftovers

Sunday-Roast Beef, Mash Potatoes, Veggies

Duhhh! June 13, 2008

Tomorrow is the Autism Walk for the Southern Jersey Region and as many of you know my son was diagnosed about a year and a half ago.  I didn’t think to write a post about the Autism Walk to see if anyone wanted to make a donation.  I feel like such a  .  I could’ve put the link on my blog months ago.  Please forgive me. If you would like to donate to a worthy cause click the link here http://www.walknowforautism.org/c.otJVJ1MOIwE/b.3627663/siteapps/teampage/ShowPage.aspx?c=otJVJ1MOIwE&b=3627663&sid=cjIML6ONLfJSI3MQLwH to make a donation on my team’s page: Fighting for Elijah.  Our theme is “Believing God for a Cure.”  

If you don’t know much about Autism here is a little snippet from Autism Speaks website to help you better understand what it is:

Autism is a complex brain disorder that inhibits a person’s ability to communicate and develop social relationships and is often accompanied by extreme behavioral challenges. Autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed in 1 in 150 children in the United States, affecting four times as many boys as girls. The diagnosis of autism has increased tenfold in the last decade. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have called autism a national public health crisis whose cause and cure remain unknown.